Hormones: It's all the Rage

I don't know when the appropriate time to discuss birth control with your doctor is, but I chose to bring up the subject right then and there on the delivery bed. No less than 5 minutes after Kaia Marie made her debut. "So, when can I get my IUD put in?"

I know. A little quick. My doctor kinda laughed and said, "NOT NOW." Which I wouldn't have been opposed to getting it all out of the way at once. One and done!

Less than 3 months later, I accidentally paid full price (sick to my stomach for a LONG time about this) for that little dam. I went with the Mirena.

And let me tell you, it took some getting used to for my body to adjust to Mirena. It sucked the ambition right out of me at the beginning. Robbed me. I STRUGGLED to really get my day going. Even if it was to do something fun. I could only SLOWLY make myself get out the front door...to go to a party. Really? Not just to take the kids to school?!!

When most of my babies hit 8ish months, I go through a rough period. Kaia hit her 8 month mark and in rolled the fog. But this one was a thick, blinding, all-encompassing fog. I'm laughing thinking back about it- Yosh and I got into some little tiff. Like REAL little. Like I think I had to ask him twice to go help the kids with something. And that sent me over the edge. Not like screaming and yelling. Like I was crying on the couch and could barely move for the next 4 hours while Yosh was out golfing or something. Only to be repeated the next night over something equally ridiculous. Holy hell.

The good news was I had come to expect this and while I couldn't control it, I was very aware that it was hormones and that I was completely irrational. And so I continued with the waiting game. For THREE WEEKS. That's a long time to be feeling sad and going through the motions waiting for the sun to come out.

But the sun came out.  Kaia was then 9 months which meant my body had had 9 months to look for some balance again. I'd been done nursing for a bit. I'd had my IUD for almost 6 months. And my hormones kinda found their way back to a sorta normal. And I was on a high for a long time. Granted, I'd have my days. And those days I'd always threaten to yank Mirena out. But I'd accidentally paid $1200 for that thing so I felt IN DEBT to it. And kept saying I'd just give it a little more time.

It's been a rough couple of weeks again. Like most of my energy is used just to do the minimum and not kill my kids. There's been lots of apologizing on my part for yelling. Not fun.

I was out of town on Saturday. As always, during the time away I was excited to get back in the game with the kids. I analyzed, reassessed, and came to some conclusions. I had some good ideas for making our lives AWESOME as I always do...when I'm away! We got back on Sunday...and it was weird. We hadn't been with the kids for even an hour, and nothing was going wrong. But my anxiety level was through the roof. And I could PHYSICALLY feel my breathing constricting. Just because I was in my own house and around the kids. No other reason.

Sad moment. You know? I'm a mom. That's what I do. That's my job. And I'm feeling like I'm not even CAPABLE of doing a good job. That thought in and of itself is depressing. And I don't have time to WAIT IT OUT. Yes things usually are good, but a couple weeks here and there of 'not good' add up.

So mark your calendars: next Tuesday at 8:30 am. I'm biting the bullet and having this IUD ripped out.

And if that doesn't work, we'll be onto the next. Because life is too short to not be happy!

Have any of you had symptoms like this with birth control? PLEASE tell me the IUD is my problem! Haha! Have you found a birth control that's pretty "normal", just lets you be you?

Help us all out, share the secrets!