{If I Ruled the World}

IMAGINE THAT.

I'd have a rule or two. And they'd go something like this:

1) Douche bags would have a 2 strike and you're out rule. Fine, that might be a bit harsh. We'll play it like baseball...3 strikes and you're out. Out meaning death by castration. Don't mess.

2) It would be required to eat ice cream sandwiches two at a time. One just doesn't get the job done. Ever.

3) Communal living would be at-your-finger-tips-easy. Like you and your 4 best friends' houses would all back up to each others in a circle like fashion with the middle area being common property. That common property would house a beach-entry pool with a slide and diving board. This would be situated right alongside the tennis court. And there'd be Coca-Cola and Coca-Cola Light on tab {or is it tap?}. Obvi.

4) Kids would wake up a solid two and a half hours after their parents. And go to sleep two and half hours before them. And.....take a two and half hour nap everyday. Just kidding just kidding, we'll cut them some slack on the napping part after they're 3 1/2.

5) Seasons are simple: 2 weeks summer, 1 week fall, and repeat til you die. Go live in someone else's world if you want cold.

6) Music would accompany our lives so we'd be much more aware of a) when we're falling in love b) when a clue is right in front of our face and c) when we're about to be murdered. And when nothing that dramatic was happening, we'd still have some good music in the background. Win win.

7) Polygamy wouldn't include anyone sleeping with my husband. I'll share his wallet but not his pants. And with that...I'll take 3 wives, por favor.

8) Each household would come with Fabio from Top Chef or an equivalent- good looking, charismatic, sexy accent, and killer cooking skills.

9) Money bags, money trees....they'd all be real.

10) Women would have ESP. Like we'd know what our husbands/boyfriends were thinking before they say it, or when our kids were about to pull a fast one, or who's texting us before we even look at the message. Oh wait....that's already how it works! It's good being a woman!

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I'm linking up with Bon Bon from Life of Bon on this little adventure!

PS Now you probably see why I have no interest in politics....nothing is going to go close to my way so in the end...it's all sixes!

To hear me read this post (with interruption from my babies) click here