ASK GAY

Before we dive into another column, I need to give you all a shout out for your kind words yesterday- here on the blog, on Instagram {@gizay}, and FB. I mean someone even offered to buy me pink Cowgirl boots so I fit in in Texas. I think that's what I read at least...:)) You all made me smile and feel a little more confident.

Now if you'll excuse me while I put on my neon glasses...

Dear Gizay, In this post (http://www.agirlnamedgay.com/2012/12/confessions.html) you touched on a couple of things that piqued my interest and I was wondering about the details of having a nanny and how it's working out for you.   The first thing was when you said "...this is a good, out-of-home experience for someone who was looking for just that." I would love to know some details about your philosophy and how you think this has been a learning experience for her. The second thing was when you said "... this was a risky move for me- letting someone come in and share the reign with me." Sooo, how has it been? Better/Worse/Easier/Harder than you thought? Spill. -Pretty Dang Piqued

First of all, thanks for referring to my as Gizay. What? You didn't write that? But I found it so endearing... Well, onto the next. Thanks for question, and thanks for prying. There's nothing I love more than a below the surface convo. Here we go, here we go!
You know when straight genius flows from your mouth and looking back, you're like, "Wait, where did that come from and how did I get so lucky to utter those words?" Well, if you haven't had the great luck of this happening to you, my fingers are crossed that at least one time in your life it happens. When Yosh and I were engaged, I remember this one conversation where we were driving around, thick in the dreaming out loud stage, and I was all, "Yes, when we can, I always want to have a 'Maria' in our house." And that was said in the most affectionate way possible. Yosh agreed 100%. I served a Mormon mission in Uruguay and Yosh served a mission in Brazil. Our hearts got a little bit of Latin/Brazilian flowing in them and we wanted that influence in our home. We loved the thought of having our children being introduced to a different culture and forming a relationship with someone very different than them. We loved the idea of slowly breaking down prejudices and racial differences by having a soft blend in our house. (This could be a whole other post as I know there's some controversial points in that statement alone, but that's not where I'm going today!) On the flip side, we knew our home could be a very beneficial environment for that Maria. These people are going to be working, doing their house cleaning/cooking thing regardless if I hire them or not. We loved the idea of supporting someone by giving them a safe, positive, respectful working environment. And so having a housekeeper has always been a priority in our budget. Still thanking my lucky stars that those golden words were spoken all those years ago in ignorance.
That mentality bled over into the process of deciding to hire a nanny. This specific nanny opportunity fell into our laps. A sweet 19-year-old girl wanted an out of home experience to earn money for college. Kind of referencing last week's Ask Gay, the idea of supporting someone in something that provides opportunity, offers experience, and ends up in positivity influenced our decision. Check out the comments section, especially Kady's- it nailed our exact vision. Sometimes it's hard for me to look at expenses in an itemized way because I could always do it myself for cheaper. Meaning...It sounds so expensive to pay a nanny $300 a week when I could logistically do it myself. That is simply if I'm looking at it as paying $300 for "baby-sitting". But when I look at it as an experience I'm providing her and the happiness and decreased stress it's buying me, the value totally changes. And let me tell ya, Hailey is learning a thing or two about real life! She is learning prioritization, patience, multi-tasking, flexibility, putting up with a raggedy boss, etc etc. It's an internship for real life mothering or real life anything-stressful and I am more than happy to take one for the team and offer our family/house up as the playing field!
The other night I had a "moment" that still makes me smile thinking about it. I was cleaning up at the sink and looked over at the dining room table where people were still finishing up a meal. Seated at the table were my own kids, a neighbor kid, Hailey {the nanny}, and Virginia {our house cleaner}. I was beaming with pride, to be honest, at the smorgasbord of people that all felt comfortable enough in our home to sit down for dinner with us. That is the vision Yosh and I have always had- people feeling comfortable in our home. While this scene doesn't happen every night, or every month, it does happen every now and then and makes me want to continue in that direction.
In addition, I want to introduce my kids to as many positive influences in their lives as possible. I can't force relationships on them, I can't make them do/be good, but I can manipulate positivity to fall in their path. Yes...I said manipulate. I look at having the right nanny as another influence for good- someone who loves them, cares about their welfare, a source of fun, an example of character. If these values can be taught through an unspoken lecture, you best believe I'm willing to pay the price. 
Now the question of sharing the reign. Finding the right person is the key and since it's been a good fit, we haven't had any power struggles. I doubt that would've been the case with just any nanny. Now the thing I have to be careful with is not giving the reign away! Yea, just whatever, do what you want, see you in ten hours, BYEEEEEEEE! That right there is the temptation! This mama was born to run the heck away so I have to concentrate on staying focused and keeping myself on a tether rather than concentrating on not giving enough slack!
So is it working out? Yes. Am I glad I gave it try? Well heck fire yea.
Any follow-up questions? Ask in the comment section and I'll answer in the comment section. Deal? Deal. 
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Have your own ASK GAY question? Fire it! ------->  agirlnamedgay@gmail.com